Riley Speaks

"all i have is a voice" ~ w.h. auden

“Were you saying no but not meaning no?”

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Based off this article and story

I am mad.

I wrote about this on facebook but it’s just not enough. I want to meet this lawyer face to face and show him exactly how silly he sounds.

Men believe they are entitled to woman. There is no denying that fact. So when a woman doesn’t want to have sex with them, no doesn’t mean a damn thing. No becomes another word that they didn’t learn the meaning of when they were a toddler.

Consent is not something that can be bargained, you cannot claim someone said no but didn’t mean it.The fact that the woman said no is not what’s at question, the question is whether or not she meant yes instead…I think if she meant to say yes she would have. She wouldn’t have tried to put her pants back on and she wouldn’t have been sobbing afterwards.

It’s started a whole debate – which is not even scrapping the nation – about what consent is. Any moment a woman is forced to participate in sexual activity beyond their consent is rape. What would happen if someone held a gun to her head until she said yes so that they could then rape her – is that consent? She said yes didn’t she?

Do you know how many people have had sex and didn’t say no, but they still didn’t want it? I’ll tell you – a lot. It’s a horrible epidemic where boys can get away with forcing a woman into sex just because they didn’t hear the word no. They put a woman into a position of fear and they can’t speak. It’s not rape just when no is said. It’s rape when a someone is forced to participate in sexual intercourse they didn’t want to. If you have to force her, if you have to hold her down, if she’s struggling to get away, if she isn’t reciprocating the feeling, if anything other than the word “YES” is happening, then it’s not consensual.

Fun fact, it’s rape even if there’s consent to one sexual act but not another. A woman CAN change their mind. Consent is ongoing. It’s rape if there was consent to sex with a condom and then there isn’t a condom used. Rape by deceit.

Consent is ongoing.

Furthermore, it’s not a lawyers – let alone a male lawyers – position to determine if consent was consent. I hope to god this lawyer never has to experience his loved one going through what this woman is, but maybe his opinion would be less hindered by his male privilege.

Claiming this woman is doing this for publicity and to make a name for herself is bullcrap. No woman wants to be in this position but kuddos to this woman for standing up to her rapist – especially when it’s been a bid against her from the start because her rapist is a sports star. I know so many rape victims that would give anything to put their rapist in jail and you want to know why they didn’t? Because they were so afraid no one would believe them. They were so afraid people would think they were being slutty. They are too terrified to have to relive their horror and have it pulled apart and turned against them all while standing in front of the person that raped them.

Do you know how painful it is when everyone is trying to convince you it didn’t happen? No. Of course not. You have your male privilege. You have your rape culture.

Rape culture exists, and it causes destruction everywhere. People take their own lives because of rape culture, rape culture causes people to take other people’s lives. Rape culture exists and it is dangerous. And what do we do?

We feed it.

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Author: ryebreadspeaks

20. Hopeful for a future free of war.

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