Riley Speaks

"all i have is a voice" ~ w.h. auden


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And Then There Were Three – DaddyOFive and the abuse allegations

Let’s begin with some wonderful news – Rose (the biological mother of Cody and Emma) has been given emergency custody over her two children. Cody and Emma have been removed from the toxic home they were in.

The channel is supposedly a family channel of fun pranks and hilarious jokes. But I would NEVER want any child, in fact any adult, to watch these videos. It broke my heart to watch them even in clips. My heart broke for these kids and the hell that their lives must be. This is not an easy thing to write about, but I’m beyond mad. I’m beyond upset and watching the videos makes me wonder how anyone can sit there and watch them. How can anyone be silent?

People are still arguing whether the children are abused or whether it was fake. If it was fake, what kind of sick, sadistic person would write a script about your kids slapping one another, and throwing iPads at another, and hurting each other. Why would you want that to be your channel? Have you no pride? You would think an honest person would see these allegations and think, “look, we made a mistake, we notice now that we were treating our children wrong and are going to get help”. Instead, they brag about having social services investigate them already – and they passed, but that’s easy enough to do. In the first “explanation” video to tell people there is no abuse going on, you can see Cody – the main victim of all of the abuse – move his eyes as he is denying the abuse allegations. And having kids being asked by the person abusing them if they’re being abused is ridiculous. Of course they’re going to say no – they’re terrified of him. Why would they say “oh yeah they are hurting us and I don’t like it” when the dad will a) cut it out, and b) most likely play another “prank” on them?

Now the main reason I am now invested in this and hope for the best is the fact that the mother – Cody and Emma’s biological mother – Rose was denied custody of her kids after Mike took them away in ill circumstances. The judge/courts determined a mother with bipolar was not able to take care of kids. From a video posted on Rose’s channel, we can see how happy and ecstatic the kids are for life. They look like they are surrounded by love, their eyes are full of light and their faces are bright. It’s a stark comparison to now, they are clearly terrified of Mike and are petrified of what he’s going to do if they “disobey” him. It must be a nightmare for them living in that house, and all because the mother was apparently unable to raise the kids. She had been doing a fine job until they were taken from her by Mike for what she believed was a six month period. To make matters worse, Mike is living with – as are the children – a lady named Heather (who has three children of her own). Heather has a previous record of second degree assault. In the state of Maryland (where Baltimore is situated), second degree assault is defined as someone causing serious bodily harm to another being. Now I’m sure each person differs, but I consider myself to place children at the top of the human pyramid. Children are the highest of society and the ones that deserve our utmost respect and care. So personally, if I were to have two kids of my own, then miraculously meet the love of my life, then find out they have an assault charge on them, I would not take my children anywhere near them. Regardless of what the circumstances – if it were self defense it would not be charged as assault – if they can hurt an adult, or another human being, then they will not be going near my kids. It’s just logical. The “EhBeeFamily” brings forth what a loving family on YouTube means, it means that the kids are not used for profit, that their sanity and their dignity is not sacrificed for some money.

This whole situation brings forth the point that we need to be more vigilant as a society for our children. Cody’s teachers had noticed he was self-harming by scratching at his skin to make it bleed. Instead of contacting the schools guidance counselor, the school wrote it on a note to the father which resulted in the Cody being shamed by Mike. People have been watching this family for a while, the channel had some 700,000 subscribers. Why had no one spoken up before now? Why were those around the family silent? In New Zealand specifically, child abuse is a very real and very huge epidemic among our society. The biggest thing we as citizens of the country can do is raise questions. Step in for the kids when they have no voice.

Abuse is not just physical. It is a broad spectrum of things and it’s so important that people realise this. People need to be made aware of different means of abuse and how they are shown in children’s actions. We need to start asking questions and making things known. CYFs and any other child protective service would (or should) rather look into an allegation that holds no truth, than have a child not be saved because no one wanted to bother them. Better safe than sorry is not a statement made for fun. It is a truth that we need to remember. Better safe than another statistic to add to our growing rate.


If you, or anyone you know, is being abused, you can get help at these places:

USA:

General

Child Help

NEW ZEALAND:

2Shine

Are You Ok?

Parent Help – for parents that are seeking help on parenting techniques

AUSTRALIA:

1800Respect

ReachOut Info

And of course your local emergency number.

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3 Comments

Hardships /= privilege

Following a YouTube video I watched, I have lost a little more faith in humanity. Reading through the comments I was so happy to see so many people were aware that going through a hard time and struggling with trauma is not the same as privilege. And it’s not.

It’s one thing to struggle with hard things in life – the person in the video surely has had a hard life and it’s important to acknowledge that. But to deny that privilege exists is a little immature. People will always be handed things, or given them easier because of things like their skin colour, their abilities, their religion, their gender, their sexual orientation, etc. My fight as a woman is a lot harder than a man’s. As an able bodied person I have an upper hand in the world. I’m white, I have the privilege of walking down the street with my hands in my pocket and not be shot at because I’m a “threat” and was hiding a possible weapon…As a member of the LGBTQ+ community I struggle against society and the privilege of straight people. I have more obstacles to face than someone who is straight, and that’s a fact.

Be as positive as you want, be as much of a go getter as you can be, but at some point you will have to admit that privilege exists. You can’t be a go getter when you’re dead. And many people are beaten to death or down right executed because of their lack of privilege. It has nothing to do with what hardships they’ve been through. Do you think the person on the other end of that gun or those fists gives a damn if they had a hard upbringing or if they went through a hard time? No. They only care that they are black, that they are a woman, that they are gay, that they are disabled. They don’t care about your hardships. They care about your privilege – or lack thereof.

I myself have been through hard times, I will bounce back from those. But I will continue – until the day I die – face the disadvantage of certain areas of my privilege and non-privilege. It will always be a fight. No matter how many positive quotes I tell myself, no matter how many well I bounce back, my privilege will always be at either an advantage or disadvantage.

Denying privilege exists is part of the problem. As someone on the YouTube platform it’s important to educate yourself and not be ignorant about things. Going through a hard time is not the same as being discriminated against for differences. It just isn’t. Privilege exists and it’s okay to admit that. It’s okay to say “hey look I do get it easier than a gay person”, “I do get it easier than a black person,” – It’s okay to admit that, in fact it’s important. It has nothing to do with how you were raised, what trials you went through. Privilege exists within society and it will always be an advantage or disadvantage depending on what side you are on. It’s ignorant and immature to assume otherwise.